12 Little Ways You Can Support A Loved One Who Has Anxiety

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness affecting about 40 million adults in the United States each year.

If you don’t have an anxiety disorder yourself, it’s likely that someone close to you (a partner, coworker, friend, or relative) has one.So what can you do to support a loved one who may be suffering from this condition?

It can be hard to figure out what’s really helpful when certain comments (even well-intentioned ones) sometimes do more harm than good.That’s why we ask people with anxiety to share the words, gestures, or other forms of support that mean the most to them.

1.Listen without judgment.

It’s very important to understand that sometimes I just can’t help but worry.Instead of telling your loved one to stop worrying or think of something else, be there for them.My loved ones will sit and listen to me talk about my fears or concerns (even the silliest ones) without judgment.Sometimes just listening and acknowledging that you are there for the other person if they need you can be very helpful.You don’t even need to say anything, you just need to listen.Let them get the words out.–Lauren Rearick

2.Remind us that we are not a burden.

Most people who suffer from anxiety are very aware of how unreasonable it is to be anxious about things that other people think are no big deal.Knowing this actually increased my anxiety because I never wanted to be a burden.The best thing a loved one can do for me when I already feel out of control is to reassure me that I’m not going to be a burden, to let me work through it on my own, to cope and calm myself in my own way, to bring me back to peace.–Shelby Goodrich Eckard

3.Please be patient if we do not respond to a text or phone call immediately.

I’ve noticed that when I’m in a state of anxiety, people get frustrated with my apathy.This doesn’t necessarily apply to all people coping with anxiety, but in my case, I become withdrawn and completely lost in my own thoughts.Loved ones sometimes think I do this rudely or on purpose, when in reality I’m just dealing with anxiety.I wish they would be a little more patient and not show frustration.I’m not trying to escape my daily life or be rude, I’m just analyzing things in my thoughts and doing my best to live every minute of it.–Javier Montalvo

4.Solve a simple task that overwhelms us.

Sometimes the most insignificant things can feel the most overwhelming – and can be accompanied by extra guilt because we think they should be easy.When a loved one helps me remove something stressful from my to-do list, like booking a flight or making a restaurant reservation, it makes a huge difference.― Clare Kayden Hines

5.Sit by us when we need company.

Sometimes just knowing that someone is there for you is enough.When my anxiety was at its worst, the best thing my loved ones did for me was to sit by my side.Companionship is powerful.― Goodrich Eckard

6.Ask us if we want to go out for a while.

Provide a short 15-minute break for a cup of tea, some ice cream or a walk.A short break to share a few words or a smile would go a long way to help ease my anxiety.― Sandra Spellman

7.Avoid responding to short text messages as it may make us think you are angry with us.

It sounds trivial, but whenever my significant other or family member replies to a text with a single ‘K’ (or worse, nothing at all!), I can’t help but worry: ‘Are they mad at me?”Did I say something wrong?”What did I do!?’Rationally, I know I’m reading into them and they’re probably just busy or distracted – but it still makes me tingly and nervous.I totally understand if you’ve been delayed at work for an hour or so, but I’d love to hear from you.If you have time to write ‘K’ then I guarantee you also have time to write ‘Okay, sounds good.― Locke Hughes

8.Ask us what helps to relieve our symptoms.

Ask your patient what helps to relieve anxiety and what doesn’t.Realize that you are their loved one, not their therapist, so support them in seeking professional help if they need it.Support them to start taking medication, undergoing therapy or other life changes.Take care of yourself, too.If you’re exhausted, you won’t be much help.― Hannah Daisy

9.Make an effort to understand how we feel, but don’t feel like you have to solve our problems.

One of the most important things is to never ignore someone’s anxiety.It took my husband some time to understand how my anxiety affected me, but he never ignored or refused to acknowledge it.It meant a lot to me when he tried to understand how I felt and what I was going through.He doesn’t always try to find immediate solutions to all problems because most of the time, there are no immediate solutions.Instead, he would listen and make sure he was there for me when I needed him.If there was anything he could do to make me feel better, like making sure I rested and ate a good meal, he would do it.I think those little gestures can really make a big difference.― Debbie Tung

10.A reminder to slow down and take a deep breath.

Tell me to take three deep breaths and breathe slowly.If you tell me this, I’ll do it. It feels like a life saver.― Spellman

11.Learn our love language so you know how to make us feel cared for.

Everyone has different ways of showing they care.But for people with anxiety, it’s very reassuring to feel cared for and appreciated by those you love.For me, occasionally hearing ‘I’m so glad I saw you tonight!’or ‘I love you and I’m proud of you’ can make me feel less anxious and more confident.For others, it might be a gift or an act of service.The five love languages can help you better understand how your loved one prefers to communicate.― Hughes

12.We are encouraged to step out of our comfort zones when appropriate.

The most helpful thing my partner does when I struggle with anxiety is that he provides me with a home to lean on.He encourages me to overcome obstacles and push myself out of my comfort zone while constantly letting me know he has my back.This actually makes me less dependent on him for help; I feel more confident in life knowing that a sympathetic ear will be waiting for me at the end of the day.― Kate Allan