How To Help Someone Experiencing Depression For The First Time

Depression is one of the most common mental health problems.It is estimated that 5% of adults worldwide suffer from depression, and 1 in 6 adults in the United States will be affected by depression at some point in their lives.In addition, the COVID-19 outbreak has resulted in high levels of self-reported clinical depression and anxiety symptoms.

While depression can affect children and adults of any age, the average age of onset (i.e., the time it takes for the condition to progress) of major depression is in the 20s.Depressive episodes can occur suddenly, which can be overwhelming, confusing, and even intimidating for people who have never experienced a mental health problem in the past.

Having a strong support system is a key factor in treatment and recovery.Sometimes, however, family members, coworkers, and friends don’t know how to help – even when they mean well.

If you’re looking for specific ways to better support a loved one experiencing depression for the first time, there are several things you can do:

Understanding Clinical Depression.

Desreen Dudley, a licensed clinical psychologist at Teladoc, a virtual care platform, says that when you notice that a loved one is suffering from a mental health issue, it’s valuable to take the first step and “learn about clinical depression by seeking out information about symptoms, causes, and treatments.”

This includes understanding the clear difference between sadness and major depression.

“Depression is different from sadness in that it is a clinical mental health disorder that describes a range of signs and symptoms that can significantly impact the way people view themselves, their relationships with others, and their surroundings,” explains Meghan Watson, resident therapist at Alkeme Healththat Alkeme Health is the digital destination for mental health and wellness content for the Black community.

Sadness is just one symptom of clinical depression: other common symptoms of depression include fatigue, feelings of hopelessness, changes in sleep patterns or appetite, suicidal thoughts, lack of interest in activities, and even physical pain, such as headaches.Depressive episodes vary from person to person, depending on their “history, habits and environment,” Watson says.

Listen to their experiences and be thoughtful in your words.

In addition to studying clinical depression, simple listening can help alleviate the feelings of isolation that often accompany mental health issues.

“You don’t need to be a trained professional to be a good listener,” Dudley said, noting that it’s important not to offer advice or solutions.

Watson says, “Support for people with depression is stronger when you can tolerate your own discomfort, acknowledge them, and show them that their feelings don’t inconvenience you when you support them.”By listening in this unbiased way, you can create a space where your family member or friend can safely talk about unfamiliar emotions and mental health.

Talking about mental health and depression can be difficult.It’s completely normal for someone to not know how to perfectly respond or what to say when they have their first depressive episode – especially if it’s a new experience for you, too.However, experts say that memorizing clichés like “you’re just going through a phase” or “stay positive” often does more harm than good.

Douglas Hurst, a peer support specialist with the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, said of his experience with his first depressive episode, “Those words were harmful because they delegitimized my thoughts and feelings.”

“I would be more supportive and reassuring to hear that my experience is common,” Hurst said.”The most important thing is to convince [people with depression] that they are not alone, while recognizing the uniqueness of their particular experience.”

Hurst also explains that you can show support for someone with depression by saying hello and saying something as simple as, “I want you to know that I’m here to listen, or I’ll help you find support and resources if you’d like.Either way, I’m here to support you.”

Provide support by planning events or attending in person.

If you notice that a friend or family member suffering from depression begins to isolate themselves more than usual, Dudley suggests “engaging them in planned activities.”Depending on their unique needs, this might include taking a walk together or having coffee once a week.

Sometimes doing only the bare minimum during a depressive episode can feel overwhelming; depression can be physically and emotionally draining on all levels.Managing new symptoms such as poor sleep quality and receiving mental health care for the first time while performing daily duties can be detrimental to physical health.Watson explains that “providing tangible support to a loved one” by cooking or doing household chores can alleviate this burden.

Watson says, “Caregiving is difficult during a depressive episode, so supporting your loved one more specifically is an effective way to connect with them, even if they don’t want to talk or you don’t know what to say.”

Be realistic about how you can help.

In addition, experts agree that self-care is essential to avoid overworking yourself.In the long run, this allows you to spend more time with your family or friends.

“Be clear about the boundaries of what you can and can’t help with,” Watson said.”Be honest and tell them that while you may not know what to do in a situation, you are willing to listen and learn.”

There are many ways to be there for someone having their first depressive episode, but this is not a substitute for medical care.While you shouldn’t pressure them, encourage your loved one to seek help from a mental health professional.In addition, you can even research these resources and treatment options with them.

Now start practicing all those skills.

Based on the statistics, it’s safe to say that most people will know someone with clinical depression in their lifetime – or they may experience a depressive episode themselves.

Fortunately, you can be prepared to support your loved one before they are diagnosed with depression: just take the time to learn about depression.Talk about mental health and stigma.Check in with friends about your mental health and practice active listening.

Each person’s support system may seem unique, but these are some general skills that can be adopted.

“Millions of people in the United States alone suffer from depression,” Hurst said.”It’s not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.It’s part of the human experience.”