Therapists Say These 6 Common Habits Are Fueling Your Anxiety

Anxiety is a very normal but unpleasant feeling.Most of us would choose not to experience it if we could.

Natasha Reynolds, a psychotherapist at the Bloom Mental and Wellness Center in Toronto, says that in a way, it’s like a smoke alarm.A smoke detector can alert you to actual dangers and get you out of your home safely, but it can also alert you to things that aren’t actually dangerous, like a slice of toasted bread that might set off a smoke alarm.

Similarly, “the part of our brain responsible for detecting threats …… may react to what it perceives as a threat, but it’s not really a danger to us,” Reynolds said.

When smoke alarms go off frequently, and these alarms are not going off because of danger, it may be a sign that you need to seek support and develop tools to cope with this stress response.In addition, common thoughts, behaviors, and actions can make your anxiety smoke alarms go off more frequently than normal.Specifics include:

Black and white thinking

A common pattern of unhelpful thinking can be referred to as black-or-white thinking, or all-or-nothing thinking.

This may mean treating the situation as good or bad without considering the gray areas.

So, for example …… if I make a mistake in an email, it must mean that I’m not competent, and the other person thinks so too.In fact, it doesn’t mean you’re incompetent; the error implies that you’re human, and the receiver thinks so (that is, if they notice the error at all).

These thoughts can be emotionally draining and even make your future communication so stressful that you feel anxious every time you email this person, or even cause you to stop emailing altogether.

Recuse

When it comes to stopping something altogether, therapists say this is another habit that could be negatively affecting you.

I think the number one behavior that makes anxiety worse is avoidance.This actually goes against what most people believe.Anxiety gets worse when you avoid the situation, place or person that triggers it.

Just think about it: if you avoid checking your credit card balance because you’re worried about it, you’re going to be filled with anxiety when you check your balance – and this happens after you’ve been going through weeks of stress.

This avoidance exacerbates the cycle of anxiety, reinforcing the body’s response and exacerbating the anxiety over time.

North Carolina psychologist Justine Grosso ), who also shares mental health insights on her Instagram account, says you shouldn’t run away from a situation, but rather address it gradually.

Using social anxiety as an example, Grosso says that instead of going to a big party, schedule a one-on-one coffee date with a new friend or attend a party for 10 minutes and then leave.

We want to approach things practically and are willing to put up with a little discomfort for the sake of our values.That said, if we value friendship,then it would make sense for us to treat these social interactions rather than avoid them.

After we’ve done something anxiety-provoking, it’s important to take a moment to tell our brain, “Hey, we made it through, we did this tough thing, we made it through.”

Seek comfort

Constantly asking others for feedback on a situation, or even Googling your health symptoms, can also lead to anxiety.These behaviors are known as comfort seeking.

In the short term, self-soothing can calm the worry feedback loop in your mind, but in the long term, it can actually create another negative feedback loop that requires comfort to feel good.

In other words, comfort is a quick fix, but won’t help your anxiety in the long run.

Catastrophize

Have you ever worried that anxiety will make you pass out and no one around you will be able to help you?Or have you ever been late with a rent check and thought it meant you would be evicted immediately?

This is called catastrophizing, which is considering the worst-case scenario and believing that it is most likely to happen.As you might expect, catastrophizing can lead to anxiety.

According to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, they believe that anxiety is caused by overestimating situations and then underestimating our ability to cope with them.

It may be helpful to challenge these worst-case scenario thoughts, “What if everything goes well?””Because anxiety is not thinking about the best case scenario.”

It’s also useful to think about possible ways to respond to bad situations.If the worst case scenario does happen, what are your strengths in responding to it that we may have underestimated at the time as well?

In other words, if you did pass out, would there be no one to help you?Can you talk to your loved ones about this possibility so that they are ready to lend a hand at any time?Or, if you do pay your rent check late, can you pay a late fee to your landlord?

The worst case scenario usually doesn’t happen, but a catastrophizing mindset can lead you to believe it will.

Negative self-talk

As it turns out, telling yourself you’re not good enough or that something won’t work isn’t just mean; it also increases your anxiety, Anders says.

It’s a big problem that many people don’t know how they talk to themselves and what words they use to describe themselves in their daily lives and daily activities.

These words are usually very harsh – much harsher than what we say to our friends or family.

I really encourage people to be aware of the words they use in their speech, and the first step is not to change it.The first step is just to raise awareness.

Try to please others

According to Anders, pleasing others can also exacerbate your anxiety.Think about it: when you’re constantly prioritizing other people’s needs and opinions over your own, you’re causing yourself some uncomfortable feelings, including anxiety.What’s more, she adds, it can make you feel like you’re neglecting yourself, which can cause anxiety.

Many people, especially women, are in the habit of putting other people’s needs above their own, a habit that is hard to break.

This can actually result in a kind of self-neglect, prioritizing the wants and needs of others over one’s own, and poor boundaries are another contributing factor.

In fact, simply developing self-worth that is dependent on others, and what you do for them, is a huge contributor to anxiety.

Ways to address these anxiety-triggering habits

To combat these behaviors, “grounding techniques are really helpful,” says Grosso.Grounding techniques can lower the heart rate and bring about a state of relaxation not available during an anxiety attack.

Grounding activities include walking or exercising.In addition,positive thinking skills can help.Like being aware of your five senses – taste, touch, sight, smell, hearing – and the reason the five senses that connect us are grounded is because it does bring us into the present moment.

In addition, Reynolds said she likes to encourage people to take belly breaths, “which are conscious deep breaths where the belly stretches forward as you inhale and tucks inward as you exhale.”Reynolds says this delivers more oxygen to the brain and helps bring about a sense of calm.

It’s also helpful to name anxious behaviors when they occur.The way to notice our thought patterns is to label them when they happen.”Oh, I see, catastrophizing, let me notice that.”

Or, take a moment to think about the negative self-talk you are experiencing or seek comfort in.Then shift your attention to the present moment.

Over time, you can learn how to move away from these thoughts and become aware of them as they occur so that you can remind yourself that they are not helpful and are not, in fact, reality.

In addition to using tools to cope with anxiety at home, it’s helpful to seek professional help; anxiety can be more complicated than it appears.

Another interesting observation about anxiety is that it may actually be a secondary emotion that masks another emotion that you find unacceptable.

You may have been raised with the idea that anger is unacceptable, or you may harbor anxious grief.In other words, there may be a larger issue, and this is where the advice of a therapist can help.